I Know Why the Caged Bird Sings
by itisnevereverything
Summary: Harry is slowly but surely seduced into the darkness with words of love, comfort, and understanding, while those of the light push him towards his new life and side. He doesn't want to fight any more, just live. Neutral Harry, LVHP slash.
1. Chapter 1

AN: I begin this story with a 1st person POV, but it will change into 3rd person, because I feel like knowing the inside thoughts of a character constantly ruins any self creating ideas. I just want to set up what the mind of this character's is while dealing with a scarring moment. He isn't going to be a wrecked mess of nothingness. He will be strong and over come this, but it doesn't mean that in that moment he is not weak. He was, and is. He must overcome it to become stronger.

I do not own anything Harry Potter related.

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><p>The warm blood trickled down my face, an unholy reminder of the truth staring me in the face. It didn't upset me though. I didn't care. They were mean. They hurt me. I knew though, I knew that this changed everything. Everyone would know, everyone would start to care, act like this mattered. That this ugly fact would forever mark me as someone else, something worse than the lightning bolt scar on my face.<p>

Both parents had pleaded for their son. Both had begged unashamed for that monster to spare their son. Just like my parents. My parents. My parents who loved me. His parents loved him. NO. I shake my head ferociously causing the world to spin within a red tinted blur. They hurt me. They were mean. They didn't love me. They did love him. I feel defeated. I feel unloved. It isn't fair. It just isn't fair.

His old round face sprinkled with stubble is twisted in fear. His eyes empty. They do not hate. They do not love. They stare vacantly at the pile of ashes that were once his son. The woman he married lying next to him. Her too small face is drowned in tears and blood. I bitterly hope it is her son's blood.

Why am I thinking like this?

When did I become so hateful?

Did I hate them?

Yes. I did. I hate them as much as they hate me. I had wished every night for them to get what they deserve and now they have. They deserve this. To be lying on the ground broken in a pool of their own blood. To unknowingly have been erased from this world. Who will mourn for them? Not me.

He killed them though. That monster did. Why?

To frame me would be impossible. I'm still changed to the floor, I am no more of a threat than spider in the corner. To make me upset seems unlikely, just as I have been seeing the horrors he carries out, he has been seeing my life with them.

Could he have been telling the truth?

"They can't hurt you any more, Harry. I won't let anyone hurt you any more." He had hissed so tenderly in my ear, stroking my hair, caressing my face. I thought in the moment he was taunting me, just before killing me. He didn't though. He kissed my forehead and in that same tender voice whispered he'd take me away soon, when I was ready.

When I was ready. I'll never be ready. He hates me. "HE HATES ME!" I scream loudly scratching my already raw throat. Tears begin flowing freely down my face. I'm crying for myself, because no one else will. No one else ever has. I'm confused. I'm lost. I'm scared.

I hear a bunch of distinctive pops in the short distance. The Order has finally arrived. Has it been hours or just minutes? I don't want to go with the Order. I'll hate them too. I end up hating everyone. I'm tainted, I'm dirty, I'm evil. All those things they screamed at me while they beat me, hit me, destroyed me.

The Order will judge me, as will my friends, my professors, my peers, the world. The blood from the corpses had finally reached my soaking my thread bare pants. Its luke warm stickiness is absorbed quickly by the cloth. I'm drowning in blood.

"I'll save you." A hissing voice whispers from in the deep recess of my slowly failing mind.

I can hear their footsteps now. I should clean up this mess, or cower in a corner, but I couldn't get up. At least that's what I told myself. Those footsteps draw closer and closer, I want to run. Yet, I just knew. I couldn't get up.

I wouldn't get up.

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><p>"He just looked so defeated."<p>

That statement echoed around the large dinning hall of the Noble House of Black. No one knew what to say in reply, because it was true. Harry Potter, the Boy Who Lived, the Saviour of the Wizarding World, the Golden Gryffindor Boy, surrounded by his relatives cooling and drying blood had looked utterly defeated. He was much too thin. He looked ragged, tired, abused. In the end they had all realized that he didn't just look that way. He was that way.

He had been abused, for who knew how long, and they had done nothing to stop it. In a way they all felt defeated too.

"We must not despair and remain strong for Harry's sake." The comforting and strong voice of Albus Dumbledore cut through the silent tension through the room. "He is recovering, and he is strong. He will get through this with the help of his friends and loved ones." His eyes twinkled across the room landing on the family of red heads and frizzy haired brunette. "Poppy says he should wake up by tomorrow, and then we can hear the full story."

"Now wait just a minute Albus." The oldest female redhead, Molly Weasley, stood up indigently. "That boy has suffered enough. I will not have you make him relive this tragic event so soon. He is just a child Albus, you expect too much from him as it is."

A man dressed in all black with a crooked nose and a grim appearance stood as well. "As much as I hate to agree with Weasley, I do agree with her. It is not necessarily the best thing to immediately force a victim of abuse and tragic happenings to share their experience. Most who go through such things need their own time to process." Dumbledore made a move to interrupt but the man just ignored him. "I realize you wish to know what happened to your Golden Boy, but he has probably been suffering this abuse all his life, and we were all to blinded to see it." The man sighed dejectedly. "We owe him this much at least Albus."

Dumbledore looked a bit ruffled, but maintained his composure. "You are correct Severus. We shall allow young Mr. Potter to rest more thoroughly before questioning him." His eyes twinkled. "Unless of course he wishes and needs to share his story."

Severus Snape rolled his eyes. Manipulative genius. His loyalties were tied to one Mr. Harry Potter though, which is something that neither side seemed to fully comprehend. He would make sure Harry Potter lived, regardless of those who wished him to do otherwise. Although the boy infuriated him at times. He was still just a boy, and a boy who was the child of his only friend in Hogwarts. Even if she married his biggest tormentor, she cared for him. So he would care in his own way for Harry.

"When can we see him Professor Dumbledore?" The frizzy hair girl spoke up.

The grandfatherly old man smiled, "As soon as he wakes up. I'm sure he will be most relieved to see his two best friends."

Ronald Weasley and Hermione Granger subtle puffed out their chests in pride. They were Harry Potter's best friends. Sadly though, they didn't think they were just Harry's friends. It seemed his title meant more to them than anyone realized.

A small pop was heard and a demented looking elf thing appeared.

"Mr. Albus Dumbledore sir, Harry Potter sir is waking up. Dobby was told to inform Mr. Dumbledore. Can Dobby see Mr. Harry Potter sir?"

Dumbledore looked like Christmas had come early. "Maybe later Dobby, tell Poppy I'll return at once."

"Yes sir." Dobby replied disappearing with a pop.

Dumbledore turned back to the room. "Let us all take a trip back to Hogwarts, and help Harry along in his recovery."

The room was filled with a new hope, and smiled littered the faces all around. Except for Severus Snape. He looked perturbed as the mark on his arm burned with a sense of foreboding he had yet to experience since the Dark Lord's rise.

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><p>AN: Love it, hate it? I'm a bit up on the air about this one. It will be a LVHP slash eventually. I don't really want it to be a bam Harry's on the Dark Side, nor do I want it to be too slow. I guess we'll see if it plays out the way I wish. I apologize for any spelling or grammar mistakes. Please read and review.


	2. Chapter 2

I did another chapter. I have no clue why. I changed my mind. I'll do both stories.

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><p>Harry woke up, cold and seemingly alone. He knew he was no longer at the Dursley's. He could feel the quiet hum of magic in the air. His body ached, but he didn't fully feel it. It was like he knew it should hurt, but his body was to numb to actually comprehend feeling it. His brain was fuzzy. His eyes seemed sealed shut.<p>

What happened?

Harry slowly opened his eyes, ripping apart the eye crust that had formed there and was working like glue. He needed to get up desperately. Lying on his back numbly made him feel so weak and decrypted. He sat up, against all odds, against the burning feeling in his back. He was in the hospital wing at Hogwarts. He looked at his body, through fuzzy eyes. His glasses were missing. He touched his face. It was wet.

Blood. His mind supplied.

Harry's vision was suddenly filled with the sight of blood. It dripped down the walls; it was soaked through his clothes. The warm sensation of blood. Everywhere.

He screamed.

Madam Pomfrey rushed in to her famous charge's side. Confused as to why the boy was screaming and clawing at his body. His jagged nailed were leaving trails of scratches and blood in their wake, as he appeared to be attempting to claw he skin from his body.

"Mr. Potter!" She shrieked, grabbing his arms and securing them to his side with a twist of her wand. "Calm down, you're at Hogwarts."

Harry looked at her, but didn't fully see her. His arms were pinned down. The new pain on his person was causing him to feel delirious. Vernon was back. He thought. Vernon was going to finally kill him. He could hear their voices. Their screams. Was this what insanity felt like?

It was then that Albus Dumbledore leading his troop of Order members came in. He expected to be greeted by the site of Harry Potter sitting in bed, dutifully awaiting his friends, and mentors. Obviously he received quite a shock. The boy was staring vacantly at Madame Pomfrey, as she stared worriedly down at him. Seemingly saying words of comfort. It looked as though his arms were restrained, and there appeared to be new scratches littering his body. And was that blood on his nails. The Headmaster frowned outwardly. This was definitely not good.

Severus immediately walked up to the vacant teen and shoved a potion down his throat. Harry immediately faded into a state of unconsciousness and Pomfrey immediately let out a sigh of relief, releasing him from her invisible restraints. She looked at the new arrivals in exasperation.

"Since the reason for you invading my hospital is unconscious again, I would prefer it if you would leave." She gave the group a stern look. "Severus can stay though, I have some requests for potions."

Dumbledore looked as though he would protest, but quickly thought better of it. Harry was sleeping, and he would have to wait to have his questions answered. "Very well Poppy. Everyone let us head to the Great Hall and get some supper. Perhaps Harry will be up to visitors when we return." He gave a final look to Pomfrey before leaving the room. It seemed to say he would like to know about Harry's episode before they walked in, but he'd get his answers later.

After there were just two people left, Severus Snape stood looking at Pomfrey. His eyes showed his age. He looked tired. He looked a bit defeated. "What is it Poppy?"

Pomfrey felt sorry for this man who had been put through so much. It wasn't fair. "I think we have a bit of a problem." She rubbed her temples exasperatedly. "He was clawing at himself, as if he was trying to escape his own skin."

"I highly doubt that Poppy. I believe he was probably traumatized. We don't fully know what happened in that house, before, during, or after his family was married. " He paused, "Though I highly doubt we can really call them his family. Not judging by his state, the locks, and chains. The haunted look in his eyes was created by a long string of events. Not just a single moment. I have the antidote to the sedative potion I gave him. I think it'd be best to give him a chance to talk before the entire brigade it here."

Pomfrey shrugged. "I'm tired Severus. This is beyond me. I'm sorry if I disappoint, but I think I'll head to my office and do some paper work. If you need me please call." With a small nod from Severus, Pomfrey went on her way. Shutting the door and the problem behind her.

"Well Potter. All you have is me now." The man sighed. "Bottoms up."

The man began pouring the potion down the Saviors throat. Not knowing what to expect as he saw the potion begin to take effect. The teen's eyes fluttered open.

Harry Potter was in the land of awareness again. His head seemed clearer. There wasn't any blood. His eyes were still blurred from the lack of glasses, but he felt calm. Until he saw the figure of a man in front of him. His heart panicked a bit.

"_It's alright Harry." _A voice hissed softly in the back of his mind. _"He won't harm you."_

A bit frightened by the voice, Harry's heart sped up more, and his breathing increased. Was this what made him see the blood? Or was it helping, was it the calm feeling.

"_That's right. I'll keep you sane, or at least what's left of your sanity." _The voice crooned soothingly.

The calm feeling flooded through Harry again. It was nice. Thank you. Harry thought. Thank you.

Severus stared at the almost man confused. He looked like he had gone inside himself.

"Potter." He spoke softly. "Potter!" He spoke louder and sterner.

Harry blinked out of his daze, and stared unfocusedly at Severus. The man realized something. He conjured a pair of glasses for blind Potter. He slowly and gently slid them onto his face. Lily Potter's eyes stared back at him. Severus shook his mind clear of those thoughts. He was doing this for Harry Potter, and his oath. He was lying to himself.

Blinking his eyes dazedly Harry realized that it was his Potion Professor's face in front of him. "Professor?" He spoke dryly. His throat was raw, probably from screaming.

"Nice to see you awake Potter." Severus backed up and sat down on the cot next to Harry's. "It is even nicer to see you calm." Severus analyzed Harry's face and body movement. He seemed far too calm. It was eerie. Especially considering the scene the man had walked in on. "You're lucky, the Order and the other two thirds of the Golden Trio were already in here, hoping for you to share about your life with the Dursleys."

Harry shrugged. He didn't really feel anything on the matter at the moment. He didn't feel much of anything at all.

Severus noticed his lack of response. He didn't seem to care. What the hell was going on?

"Potter are you feeling alright?"

Harry shrugged again.

Severus's arm began to burn. He grasped the mark that claimed him to darkness, trying to ease it. It burned greater. "Potter, is the Dark Lord in your mind?"

Harry's eyes flashed red, and he gave a drunken smile and nodded dazed.

"Damnit Potter. Clear you mind. Remember your lessons!"

Harry lost himself to the calm waves that were flowing through his head. He felt safe, and just wanted to drown in this comforting space.

Severus watched Harry's eyes turn ruby red. His arm continued to burn with ferocity. He immediately knelt down and murmured a soft, "Milord."

Harry let loose a twisted deranged smile that was not his own. In a cold emotionless voice sneered, "Severus, exactly what are you doing?"

Keeping his eyes on the ground Severus's mind was whirling what the fuck was going on. "Milord, the Potter boy went throu-"

"I know what he has been going through Severus." The voice took on an even more malicious tone. "I asked what you are doing?"

"I'm trying to help." Severus stared at the ground and gritted his teeth.

"I thought you despised the boy though. You hated his Father, and he is so much like his Father. " The Dark Lord's eyes glared down at him. "Why do you want to help?" He spoke mockingly.

The mark burned the pain bordered that of the unforgivable. His mind felt like it was being crush. He was going to die. Severus Snape felt as though he was dying. He didn't have anything left to lose. "I made an unbreakable vow."

"To whom?"

"Potter." He mumbled softly.

"Potter is dead. Silly fool."

The pain intensified. It was horrible. "No," he gasped out. "Harry Potter."

The pain stopped, and Severus collapsed onto the floor. He faded slowly into unconsciousness.

"Interesting." Hissed the Dark Lord's voice. "Interesting."

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><p>Read and review or I won't post. I need motivation. I am going to make Harry Insane. I like it. That's the only reason I got motivation.<p> 


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